Changed.

I was a nervous wreck when the final hour turned to minutes. As time slipped through my fingers, we attempted to fight the inevitable, to cheat time by stashing a few extra minutes in our back pockets to prolong our departure time. My heart dropped into my stomach as the voice over the intercom announced our flight was now boarding to Dallas. This is it, no turning back. Leaving paradise, my mom, and the Hawaiian lifestyle was a hard reality to face-- it hurt and we all cried like babies.

We lived the life of Peter Pan-- internally optimistic, highly spirited, never wanting to grow up, and living life with a carefree attitude. Seven weeks in Hawaii has been a dream; an experience that we’ll never forget and memories that we’ll carry forever. We found a new love and a new perceptive; we’ve grown mentally, emotionally, and spiritually; and we’ve learned to hold tight to the important things, as well as what and when to let go of the hurt and pain. This has been a trip of renewal and healing. My soul has been stretched and my heart has been mended-- I’m forever changed.

“Hearts are breakable," Isabelle said. "And I think even when you heal, you're never what you were before".”  ~ Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

 Will was watching this couple for 30 minutes as he was trying to teach his girlfriend to snorkel.

 YAY THEY DID IT!

 Krysta spent the entire day in the water... she grew gills.

We’re back in Oklahoma busily getting back into our normal routines of school and dance classes, plus my paintings and projects. I’ll be back in a couple of days to wrap up our Hawaii outings and sunny beach days, along with Krysta’s first day of school and (dare I say) Krysta’s ballet recital from back in June. Lots to do and lots to catch up.

Happy Friday,
Em

on we go (otherwise known as the big instagram overload post)

Written several days ago, but never quite made it to the "publish" button...
Flashes of lightening and the rolling of thunder ceased at dawn as the sun attempted to stretch its rays bringing forth a new day, only to be chased off by grey clouds. It’s a dreary morning –one where I slowly drink my coffee, staring out the window, watching the rain as it slowly rolls down my roof, sprinkling across the yard leaving small puddles for birds to play in. Here these birds are --despite previous storms (tornado type storms), current rain, and next week’s forecasted storms-- enthusiastically chirping and living it up in my front yard. I’m reminded that even in the hardest of times and the gloomiest of days, there’s a Bright-side and a positive outlook in very situation. For an example, I lost my wedding ring last week. Bright-side? Um…It’ll turn up…eventually.

As I write, both kids are still sleeping; making this truly a rare moment --a rare moment when I can sit alone and breathe in the silence. I needed this, this moment to myself, to clear my head, to heighten my senses and to grasp and be thankful of the beauty that surrounds me in the smallest of places.

Lately, life has been fast paced, a blur really. I can’t recall our happenings or even describe the little moments that have now quickly vanished with time. But I’m okay with fast paced. I’m even okay with blurry. I get lost in the haze of the day which quietly slips into a week, and before I knew it, it became clear, “life moves on. we're moving on. and we're okay."

Here are some of our blurry moments…

(you see that photo, right there? skyping with my Love is a huge highlight of our day)

photos from Instagram iPhone app. Join us! http://web.stagram.com/n/emilyroe

I knew this month would fly by with all of the preparations for our big upcoming plans. I’ve been diligently checking off my jammed-packed black-hole of a to-do list that consists of ballet, jazz, and pom practices/rehearsals/recital, finishing projects and paintings, wrapping up my current obligations, and preparing the house and my Louie Lou (our pookie cat) for our departure-- that’s right, we’re going out of state to visit my mom (aka Mimi) later this month, and we couldn’t be more excited. I take that back... we're OVER THE MOON! It's all Krysta talks about, and we're counting down the days until we leave. I know this trip is just what we need to fill the empty space until Ron returns.

What are your big summer plans?

On we go,  *click, publish*

Em

Summer Sweetness

Mrs. Mother Nature wasn’t showing us any summer lovin’—the soil was cracking and the grass broke off to the touch and …the heat? The heat was simply unreal. Walking barefoot was nearly impossible without going, ouch, ouch, ouch with every step. But, as the old saying goes, “good things come to those who wait” proved to be true. We got our storm, baby!

Ron and I watched as the clouds swelled into heavy clusters of gray fluff and lightening zigzagged with quick vertical flashes of light. There was no doubt that she was a showstopper, leaving us oohing and ahhing when the loud bursts of thunder boomed and crackled around us. We’ve been waiting a long time for an earth pounding showdown such as this.

Don’t you just love the smell of a good storm? Relief never smelled so sweet…or clean!

 

We may or may not have performed a rain dance earlier this week. I’ll never tell.

Before the rain quenched the grounds, making the rain/sun ratio a little more balanced –and I say “little” very loosely— we made the most out of our summer heat…

{Ice Pops}

These mini rainbow pops have become a staple in our freezer. Seriously, we can rarely endure an afternoon without opening these bad boys.

“You can’t beat the heat without a cold sweet.” I just made that up. Funny, no?

Err, moving on…

{Watermelon}

Need I say more? Hellllooo, water?

If you look up “summer” in the dictionary, you’ll find the word “watermelon”. They go hand in hand, like peanut butter and jelly. Salt and pepper. Macaroni noodles and cheese.

…You get my drift.

Our house is fully stocked with watermelon if anyone wants to come over for a slice or four…just putting it out there.

{Mud Baths and Sprinklers}

Remember when you were young and thought adding water to dirt to make mud was the greatest thing ever? Well, I do! And apparently so does Wills.

He’s practicing his Jackson Pollack moves.

When mud runs its course, there’s nothing like a little sprinkler action to cleanse and hydrate sweet baby skin.

{Home Comforts}

We’ve had many days were it topped out at 112 and that didn’t even include the heat index. This goes without saying that ice pops, watermelon, and sprinklers couldn’t bring us relief. We huddle indoors, and that’s ok with us. It’s good to be huddled around the comforts of home. And although I haven’t quite accepted Oklahoma as my home, I’m working hard to move in that direction.

Lately I’ve been sewing curtains and throw pillows, organizing, and brainstorming décor ideas. It’s starting to come together. Starting to feel like home.

More photos to come.

And last, but not least, a Panda Party! That's right, my girl throws down shindigs for even the tiniest of folk, which includes but not limited to Panda Bears. Mrs. Pandy to be exact--Krysta wanted to make sure I got her name right for my blog.

Anyhow, we lived it up and all got sugar highs --including Pandy-- in the middle of the afternoon, on a Wednesday. We party hard over here!

So if you’d please excuse me, tomorrow is a BIG DAY for my girl. She’s starting THIRD grade. I’ll say that again, THIRD grade! I know, gasp!

And you can bet your hiney there will be photos!

Until tomorrow, big smiles from OKC!

Em

New Routines

For days I’ve been starring at a slowly blinking cursor on my computer screen trying to form letters into words, words into sentences…then hitting the backspace key. I can’t seem to find the right words that describes our life as of late. Chaotic, frenzy, and overwhelming are all in the front row, but then there are the moments that aren’t so chaotic, moments of calm and ease that are pocketed between unpacking moving boxes, 3am baby wake-up calls, and temper tantrums that I’m striving to embrace.

 little dude got a busted lip by wiping out on the sidewalk

Growing up, we moved around a lot. I remember packing everything into ABC Store boxes and turning around to quickly unpack within a matter of days in a new home, a new bedroom. My mom would instinctively know where everything went –the couch goes here, the dining table there, dishes in this cabinet, etc- and like clockwork, we were settled in. Things seemed to run much smoother. Perhaps it’s the kid in me that doesn’t remember the stress of reestablishing ourselves in a new neighborhood or the financial aspect of relocating or the aching muscles from lifting furniture and 50lb boxes. But the adult me has seen, understood, and experienced every bump on the road over the past few weeks. This move has been hands-down the toughest transition I’ve ever experienced in my life. There have been more than a few times where I found myself in a puddle of tears, thinking how this move was a huge mistake and praying to God for a re-do button.

Well I didn’t get a re-do button, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it appears promising. Things are slowly coming into shape and day by day we’re establishing new routines and settling into our nest and overcoming our Alison’s Relocations Disaster.

And when the chaos thins out, I regroup by digging deep into my pocket of pulling out a sliver of calm and adding water. Water can make almost anything better -an overheated car, a dying plant, a fish out of his bowl, a parched marathon runner- it also fixes my soul. It gives me a sense of clarity and renewal, and I can see that water is naturally engrained in my children as well. I love that. Whenever they get out of hand, we drop everything. I clap my hands and say, “Alright kids. Bathing suits. Outside. Now.”

I just love his faces. Wills seems to come alive whenever he’s around a body of water--big or small. His laughs and happy squeals are endless.

Sprinklers on the other hand, not so much --very very unhappy squeals.

Wills has always been Mr. Independent, strong willed, and headstrong, but lately he has climbed to a whole new level. His confidence and bravery is much bigger than his little body can hold. He’s rolling with the big kids, climbing the playground equipment as high as he can go, and attempting to keep up with their running pace --which is extremely comical watching him run as his diaper butt twists from side to side.

This is a common scene at our house --Krysta directing Wills, and Wills obviously isn’t appreciative of her assistance. This is usually followed by Wills letting out a loud piercing shriek, followed by me saying, “Krysta, let him go”. Sometimes we live on broken records.

One of our new routines is going to the park at dusk. If we’re lucky it would have cooled down to say 97*? Anything under 100* is a breath of fresh air. Hot. Hot. Hot.

And when I’m not pulling Wills down from high playground equipment, I’m pulling my other two babies out of trees. Ron wanted to show Krysta how he used to climb a tree as a kid. He made his way up, twisting and turning around branches until the tree limbs became too thin to proceed any higher. When his inner 8 year old was satisfied, he looked down and proudly said, “Look Krysta, this is how you climb trees!”  Only one problem --he couldn’t remember how to get back down. Minor setback, minor setback.

As much as we’re digging running around under the summer sun in triple temp digits and getting stuck in trees, sometimes it’s nice to have an indoor tea party. You know, with AC. Krysta decks hers out--a white ball gown, a porcelain tea set given to her from her Nana, a tea pot filled to the rim with water and tiny saucers piled high with trail mix. My girl lives it up.

As days turn into weeks, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. After all is said and done and we’re settled into a new rhythm of life, the anxiety and distress will taper off, and the moment I’ve been waiting for will come -the moment that makes all of the stress worthwhile- the moment of “awe” where everything falls into place and the weight is lifted from my shoulders, and I can just be.

On a side note: we've been having some pretty wicked skies! (currently obsessed with clouds and light)

Until next time, happy midweek!

Em