We've Moved!

It has been a crazy cyclone of a mess around here.

But I've got some exciting news!

Four weeks ago, we moved! ...not to a new base or state, just to a new neighborhood that comes with a larger house and a better view. We love it so far. It's a breath of fresh air and as close as we're going to come to a new beginning without having official military orders; which I'm still holding out for- I've got that moving bug...ready to go, see, and explore new regions, countries, and cultures.

But for now, we're busy exploring our new surroundings and forming new routines.

In the morning hours, we hit the 3.4 mile walking trail that is conveniently located a block from our home. The best part is, it swings through a park and hangs a left back to our front yard. The kids look forward to this little routine, and to be honest, I'm enjoying it myself...even with the intense heat.

When the sun begins to settle, we pull out the bikes to squeeze the remaining drops of Oklahoma's golden rays. The kids are quiet, expelling their last ounce of energy in a soothing rhythm of petal, push, glide, while the sun drowns the swaying fields of wildflowers and foliage that rattle with the wind in pools of canary yellow and burnt orange; we're bathed in the evening light.

This is my therapy,  my church, my time to reflect and clear my head.

On a side-note, I've been busy wrapping up some projects that I'd love to share with you over the next couple of weeks!

Things are turning out to be on the sunny side-- after all, it is Friday!

Emmie

PS Photos are from instagram. Follow me here:  http://instagram.com/emilyroe

Back Around

Here we are.

I’m altering my decisions and making some changes. Not big changes, just little alterations here and there --changing my routine, my pace, and choosing which battles to fight. No one person can do it all, be it all, and fight it all to make all things right. We must choose what to let in and when to let go, how to guide our children and what works best for our household. When we find things aren’t flowing easily, it’s time to shake it up, break it down, and rebuild our line of thinking to make a stronger foundation and a sturdier structure so that can overcome obstacles and withstand the storms blow.

Cleaning routines aren’t working? Shake it up.

Morning routines aren’t working? Change it up.

Bedtime isn’t running smoothly? Shake and change it up.

We’re flipping over the snow globe and shaking it up this week; putting good use to those New Year’s Resolutions. I’m already feeling inspired by our small changes, and hopefully they’ll stick and solidify into concrete. I’m motivated and it feels good; possibly because Ron is leaving in a number of days, and I’m longing for a smooth deployment and transition.

Scratch that.

I’m determined to have a smooth deployment.

Since living in Oklahoma over the past eight months, I feel like I’ve come into full circle. I’ve had my highs and lows, ups and downs. And now here I am feeling optimistic and full of hope and ready to discover what’s over the horizon. Sometimes it takes a good emotional ass kicking see the beauty in the breakdown. Sometimes it takes a huge disappointment and let down to see the silver lining and truth.

Here we are midweek and my aspirations are still running high. The prospects of the upcoming weekend --and many weekends to follow-- are limitless. And while I will soon be both mother and father until this fall, I will continue to remain hopeful and optimistic. I’m taking it day by day, and will not dread on the unknown. I have new dreams, a new vision, and after all, it is a new day.

“Sometimes on the way to the dream, you get lost and find a better one.” 

PS Signs of spring in January- a bird’s nest and a lunch break picnic. See, even Mother Nature shakes things up.

Letting go.

Curtains are hung, beds are made, and pictures adorn our walls. We’ve made our house into a home, but something doesn’t feel quite right. I feel out of place, and as hard as I try I don’t feel like I belong. Perhaps it’s because I’m not active in the art community here? Or maybe because I don’t have a group of solid friends? Or even involved in playgroups?

I’m living life on a hamster wheel--constantly moving, constantly going, but always staying in the same place. I’ve made some bad choices, walked down the wrong road, ignored the red flags, and had more than a few busts and hardships. Relocating and reestablishing your place in a new community is difficult. And as hard as you try to make everything work and flow smoothly, sometimes the puzzle pieces just don’t fit together--sometimes you just need to realize the dead end road and move on. Now that the dust has settled and I can see with clear eyes, we’re regrouping and regaining our footing, but most importantly, I’m letting go.

I’m letting go of all “what ifs”. Of all outside negativity and distractions. Of all stresses and worries. And focusing on us, as a family. We’re falling back into our easy going, laid back lifestyle that makes us thrive. Now that Autumn is here, there's no perfect time to slow down and enjoy the simple things in life, like family movie night, bedtime stories, and conversations over coffee.

And that…that’s what makes me whole. That’s where I belong, and geography can never take that away.

Unfortunately, I haven’t had my camera attached to me, like it has been in the past, but I did have my iphone.

So, here are a few snaps of our happenings over the past month or two:
(if you’re on my twitter, I’m sure you’ve already seen these)

Fall is in full swing--my all-time favorite season of the year, thankyouverymuch--we’re pulling out all stops on home comforts while soaking up the warm days and cool nights. This includes all, but not limited to, chili, pumpkin patches, apple pie, crunchy leaves, and chai tea.  

I’m going to attempt to play summer catch-up this week, while I finish up the kids Halloween costumes, photography props (more details to come on that!), and our out-of-town weekend getaway to visit besties.

Till then, much love.

Em

New Routines

For days I’ve been starring at a slowly blinking cursor on my computer screen trying to form letters into words, words into sentences…then hitting the backspace key. I can’t seem to find the right words that describes our life as of late. Chaotic, frenzy, and overwhelming are all in the front row, but then there are the moments that aren’t so chaotic, moments of calm and ease that are pocketed between unpacking moving boxes, 3am baby wake-up calls, and temper tantrums that I’m striving to embrace.

 little dude got a busted lip by wiping out on the sidewalk

Growing up, we moved around a lot. I remember packing everything into ABC Store boxes and turning around to quickly unpack within a matter of days in a new home, a new bedroom. My mom would instinctively know where everything went –the couch goes here, the dining table there, dishes in this cabinet, etc- and like clockwork, we were settled in. Things seemed to run much smoother. Perhaps it’s the kid in me that doesn’t remember the stress of reestablishing ourselves in a new neighborhood or the financial aspect of relocating or the aching muscles from lifting furniture and 50lb boxes. But the adult me has seen, understood, and experienced every bump on the road over the past few weeks. This move has been hands-down the toughest transition I’ve ever experienced in my life. There have been more than a few times where I found myself in a puddle of tears, thinking how this move was a huge mistake and praying to God for a re-do button.

Well I didn’t get a re-do button, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it appears promising. Things are slowly coming into shape and day by day we’re establishing new routines and settling into our nest and overcoming our Alison’s Relocations Disaster.

And when the chaos thins out, I regroup by digging deep into my pocket of pulling out a sliver of calm and adding water. Water can make almost anything better -an overheated car, a dying plant, a fish out of his bowl, a parched marathon runner- it also fixes my soul. It gives me a sense of clarity and renewal, and I can see that water is naturally engrained in my children as well. I love that. Whenever they get out of hand, we drop everything. I clap my hands and say, “Alright kids. Bathing suits. Outside. Now.”

I just love his faces. Wills seems to come alive whenever he’s around a body of water--big or small. His laughs and happy squeals are endless.

Sprinklers on the other hand, not so much --very very unhappy squeals.

Wills has always been Mr. Independent, strong willed, and headstrong, but lately he has climbed to a whole new level. His confidence and bravery is much bigger than his little body can hold. He’s rolling with the big kids, climbing the playground equipment as high as he can go, and attempting to keep up with their running pace --which is extremely comical watching him run as his diaper butt twists from side to side.

This is a common scene at our house --Krysta directing Wills, and Wills obviously isn’t appreciative of her assistance. This is usually followed by Wills letting out a loud piercing shriek, followed by me saying, “Krysta, let him go”. Sometimes we live on broken records.

One of our new routines is going to the park at dusk. If we’re lucky it would have cooled down to say 97*? Anything under 100* is a breath of fresh air. Hot. Hot. Hot.

And when I’m not pulling Wills down from high playground equipment, I’m pulling my other two babies out of trees. Ron wanted to show Krysta how he used to climb a tree as a kid. He made his way up, twisting and turning around branches until the tree limbs became too thin to proceed any higher. When his inner 8 year old was satisfied, he looked down and proudly said, “Look Krysta, this is how you climb trees!”  Only one problem --he couldn’t remember how to get back down. Minor setback, minor setback.

As much as we’re digging running around under the summer sun in triple temp digits and getting stuck in trees, sometimes it’s nice to have an indoor tea party. You know, with AC. Krysta decks hers out--a white ball gown, a porcelain tea set given to her from her Nana, a tea pot filled to the rim with water and tiny saucers piled high with trail mix. My girl lives it up.

As days turn into weeks, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. After all is said and done and we’re settled into a new rhythm of life, the anxiety and distress will taper off, and the moment I’ve been waiting for will come -the moment that makes all of the stress worthwhile- the moment of “awe” where everything falls into place and the weight is lifted from my shoulders, and I can just be.

On a side note: we've been having some pretty wicked skies! (currently obsessed with clouds and light)

Until next time, happy midweek!

Em

A farewell to Alaska.

Alaska has captured my heart and soul in so many ways --she has torn down my walls, stripped me down to my core, and then rebuilt me into a better person. However, we didn’t always have a loving relationship; in fact we hated each other for the first year we were together. I wanted nothing more than to fly back to the east coast --a place where it’s warm and sunny, with salt air and sweet tea. Every time I walked out my front door, I was terrified that a bear would trample me, and every time I drove I would white knuckle the steering wheel, afraid that the snowflakes would cake up the windshield and I would fly off a mountain. I lived in fear; I lived in the typical Alaskan stereotypes.

Once I overcame my fears and realized that the stereotypes were comically bs, it opened up a whole new world for me. I got to see Alaska for all of her beauty and wonder. Not only did I live day to day in The Last Frontier, but I embraced her and soaked her up for every drop she’s worth. I witnessed a bald eagle soar over the mountains and moose grazing in my yard, I’ve seen where the snowcapped mountains kiss the sky and where they dip into the ocean, I’ve smelled the Springs first shower and Winter’s first snowfall, I’ve experienced the Aurora Borealis as she danced across Winter’s night sky.


****************************

I’m now in survival mode, so the fact that we’re actually relocating from Alaska to Oklahoma has yet to hit me. I’ve had the lump-in-the-throat and the pit-in-the-stomach, but I haven’t had the breakdown moment, the “Oh Dear God, I’m pulling up our roots I’ve grown and created for my babies and sending us halfway across the country”. I’ve been very uneasy. Everyone feels the need to give me their opinion on Oklahoma --some negative, some positive, some scrunched up their face like a troll and shake their head, but most just smile and say, “You’ll enjoy it!”. Though everyone’s opinions differ, I do know this… I know that I want to hop back on that boat and hightail it back to Alaska, but at the same time, I want to trek into the unknown and see what’s in store for our future in the southwest. Going back and forth between happy and sad, excited and reluctant, optimistic and pessimistic has left me completely scatterbrained. But I’m sure the longer we travel to our destination, the more everything will fall into place. We’ll be creating a new chapter in our lives, and I can’t wait to write it.

leaving the Whittier Port and into the open sea


Before I turn the page, I want to wrap up our last few days in Alaska.

Park Days

Since living in a hotel over the past two weeks, we’ve shifted our schedules to fit our living out of suitcases and sleeping in strange beds traveling lifestyle. Summer brings extra doses of sunshine, so we’re basking under the rays into the double digits of the night… 10pm. You heard right, we’re at the park enjoying the Midnight Sun along with many other families who had the same great idea.

 My Daydreamer and Explorer

We’re going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

The last school field trip of the year was to the Alaska Zoo. And Krysta was over the moon about this one. For weeks it was all she talked about. “Mom how many more days until Zoo Day?” she would say.

Bear Exhibit

William and I tagged along as chaperones. He stared wide-eyed at every animal we crossed and very kid that raced by trying to be the first one to spot the various animals.

Llamas were hands down our favorite exhibit. Mainly because we could practically reach out and touch them or maybe it’s because when I look at them I think of the Disney movie Emperor’s New Groove and laugh. You know you the part where he’s quivering his lips and cries out “Llama face!!!” --yeah funny stuff.

Anywho, moving on...

The Market

The Saturday before heading out, Krysta and I took some Mother-Daughter time to venture out to the Farmer’s Market. We didn’t get anymore $10 strawberries, but we did pick up a few other treasures to remember our Great Alaskan Adventure.

As we were zigzagging through the white tents, Krysta spotted the horse rides. We hightailed across the parking lot so my girl could take a few laps on Fireball’s back.

It was love at first sight...

Best Friends 

I’m not the type to gush over my relationship with my husband because it comes so naturally, so normal, like breathing, but I felt like I should mention that Ron and I celebrated our ninth year wedding anniversary. That’s right, we've been married for almost a decade! *Applause* And it’s true what they say, “time really does fly by.” We’ve grown together, learned together, and have become stronger through building each other up. We’re each others better half, a wing-man of sorts, and a right hand man.

We got all gussied up to dine at Simon and Seafort’s --a restaurant with an amazing view of the Sleeping Lady, delicious food, a wait staff in black and white uniforms, chandeliers that hang from the ceiling, and huge paintings and old photographs of Anchorage adorned the walls. It was a combination of Old World and Alaskan lodge, and I loved it.

I couldn’t imagine a better evening bringing our ninth year to an end and a kickoff to our tenth year, around a table full of laughs with our babies. It’s like the Superbowl, but for married couples only.

Knik River

Since we had such a blast at Knik River last week, we had to go back and get a double dose of goodness; this time we were armed with swimsuits and flat rocks for skipping. We weeded through the camp goers and the kayakers, and nestled ourselves into the perfect little river bed spot, where it was just us and the sky with mountains and water in between.

It was a gorgeous day and the perfect way to fill our remaining time in Alaska.

 Bliss

Remember here, when Krysta was so upset because she couldn’t skip a rock?

Ladies and Gents, without further ado, Krysta proudly skipped her first rock. Multiple times, she skipped one right after the other, going bop, bop, bop, bop gliding across the water. Each time was just as exciting as the first. You could see the happiness pouring out of her.

Krysta declares this day as being her favorite memory while living in Alaska, as do I.

 Alaska has been life changing. I can only wish upon a thousand dandelion's and all the stars in the sky that Oklahoma has the same soul stretching effect.

I'm anxious to find out.

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